Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
