She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize