I wannas sexs uuuuu
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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