im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
