I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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