she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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