Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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