I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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