I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
