Have you finally orgasmed yet?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
