Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
