Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
