I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
