reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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