Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
