you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
