I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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