So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
this hospital has no fireball
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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