please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Enjoy the penises
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
