well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
