I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
