who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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