talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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