worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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