Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
