she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
