i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
