so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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