we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
