Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
