I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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