No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
