his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
