I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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