Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize