1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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