It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
