Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
only if we run a train.
done.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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