Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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