I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
