So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize