shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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