Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
