it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
