They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
