birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
