Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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