I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
