In the future we'll all be gay
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
