first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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