umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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