Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
