so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
