I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
