I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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