He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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