we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize