FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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