He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
