yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
