can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
