This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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